Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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