Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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