OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
