One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
