Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just pee around me
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
