I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
