Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
