wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
