my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
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