Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
