Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
