Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
