I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
