At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
