"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize