honey bunches of taint.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
