You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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