The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
