we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
