I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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