The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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