yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
