waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
