stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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