haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
