i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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