I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize