he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
