yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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