Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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