Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
