Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
