That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
