For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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