Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think your dad took our porno
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
