READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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