So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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