All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
