Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
