We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
