ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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