I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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