Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
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