whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
