You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
