What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
