based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
