I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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