New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
