i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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