Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize