margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize