How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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