thus making me awesome and them whores
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
