the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
