i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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