Duck Duck Cougar?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
