I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
not ubering you a puppy
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
