Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
