What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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