You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
