love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
