he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
