i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
