white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
