It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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