I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
